Felix's Inferno

February 1, 2012 4:14 pm
binxbolling:

danielbritain:

out.com publishes letters written from james clementi to the memory of his younger brother tyler, who committed suicide while attending rutgers. sorry, but you’re about to cry for 40 minutes. 


I ’m not sure when I first realized my younger brother was gay. I think I knew he was for as long as I knew I was. I had no idea how to bring it up; it was just something we left dangling in the air, unsaid. I was open about my sexuality with friends, but around my family there was this barrier that felt unbreakable. It slowly dawned on me that I wasn’t the only one, that I had a brother who was also gay — my baby brother, whom I had always felt protective and paternal toward. I knew I was in a position to be a confidant, a role model. But I wasn’t ready to do any of that. It would have made it much less lonely for me to grow up with an older brother who had gone through and understood everything I was dealing with — and I wanted to be that for Tyler. I didn’t start to come out to the people in my life until I was in my early twenties, so I always thought Tyler would follow the same timeline and we wouldn’t need to address the rainbow-colored elephant for a few more years. I was terrified to talk to him, accustomed to secrecy and scared I would make everything worse somehow.

binxbolling:

danielbritain:

out.com publishes letters written from james clementi to the memory of his younger brother tyler, who committed suicide while attending rutgers. sorry, but you’re about to cry for 40 minutes. 

I ’m not sure when I first realized my younger brother was gay. I think I knew he was for as long as I knew I was. I had no idea how to bring it up; it was just something we left dangling in the air, unsaid. I was open about my sexuality with friends, but around my family there was this barrier that felt unbreakable. It slowly dawned on me that I wasn’t the only one, that I had a brother who was also gay — my baby brother, whom I had always felt protective and paternal toward. I knew I was in a position to be a confidant, a role model. But I wasn’t ready to do any of that. It would have made it much less lonely for me to grow up with an older brother who had gone through and understood everything I was dealing with — and I wanted to be that for Tyler. I didn’t start to come out to the people in my life until I was in my early twenties, so I always thought Tyler would follow the same timeline and we wouldn’t need to address the rainbow-colored elephant for a few more years. I was terrified to talk to him, accustomed to secrecy and scared I would make everything worse somehow.

  1. hoonspoon reblogged this from binxbolling
  2. justinandrew reblogged this from binxbolling
  3. flexisex reblogged this from binxbolling
  4. binxbolling reblogged this from danielbritain
  5. michaelnothing reblogged this from absurdlakefront
  6. absurdlakefront reblogged this from danielbritain and added:
    This letter is worth...time and attention.
  7. danielbritain posted this